In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
