Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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