I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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