i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
