found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize