Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
