He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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