Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
