the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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