Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
