can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
