my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
last night I used snow as a chaser
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
