Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize