apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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