he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
