Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
