The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize