I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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