It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
