we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
