i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
