Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
