So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
