i'm signing you up for texting rehab
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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