I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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