...so i touched it.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize
