she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
