I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
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