Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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