How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
