dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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