wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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