you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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