Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
