I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
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