oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
