When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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