physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
