I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
