I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
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She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
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It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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