my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
