If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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