You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
