What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
