you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
