But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
