we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
