he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
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I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
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We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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