My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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