Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
