im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
