Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
