Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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