That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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