he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize