your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
