Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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