Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
