Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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