i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I AM VODKA MAN
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.