Sry I called you an 8
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
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Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
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I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.